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š¤ Get Respect By Not Responding
The angry words president Abraham Lincoln never sharedāand why you shouldn't either...
Dyani Janga
February 11, 2025
During the Civil War, after The Battle of Gettysburg (1863), President Abraham Lincoln ordered General George Meade to chase and defeat the escaping Southern army.
But Meade hesitated, and the enemy escaped.
Frustrated, Lincoln wrote an angry letter, calling Meade out for not listening to him and missing a chance to end the war.
After calming down and thinking about it, the president never sent it.
Lincolnās letter read the following šš½
š¤Æ Abraham Lincolnās Letter
My dear General,
I do not believe you appreciate the magnitude of the misfortune involved in Leeās escape. He was within your easy grasp, and to have closed upon him would, in connection with our other late successes, have ended the war. As it is, the war will be prolonged indefinitely.
If you could not safely attack Lee last Monday, how can you possibly do so south of the river, when you can take with you very fewāno more than two-thirds of the force you then had in hand? It would be unreasonable to expect, and I do not expect, that you can now affect much. Your golden opportunity is gone, and I am distressed immeasurably because of it.
Yours, very truly,
A. Lincoln
Even though Lincoln was incredibly disappointed in his general, he understood that sending the letter wouldnāt change the past.
But it would discourage Meade and possibly make him hate his president.
Instead of lecturing his general, he chose to move forward and focus on the next steps in the war. And ultimately, lead them to end the war victorious.
This is a powerful lesson in leadership.
You need to be emotionally intelligent. Knowing when to express frustration and when to hold back for the greater good.
Because if Abraham Lincoln had sent this letter, a lot couldāve gone wrong. Potentially resulting in them losing the war, or maybe starting an internal war. Something he discovered is that anger fades, but words donāt.
š Key Take Away
Great leaders know when to stay silentābecause words can do more damage than anger itself.
President Lincoln often wrote these āhot letters.ā
But instead of acting out of frustration, Lincoln often wrote these letters, cooled down, and most of the time chose to not send them.
Emotional intelligence as a leader makes you be respected.
Being consistent and approachable makes people feel safe being honest with you, even if theyāve messed something up.
If you want honesty, donāt scold it when you receive it. Instead, reward it.
š Book Bit
He understood that sharp criticisms, even when deserved, could damage morale and relationships. Instead of reacting impulsively, Lincoln mastered the art of restraint, knowing that some battles were best won through silence.
Lincoln on Leadership - Donald T. Phillips
This is a wise thing to do, but he only learnt this from nearly fighting āto death for his letterās contents.
See, Lincoln anonymously wrote articles in a local Illinois newspaper, mocking a Democratic politician, embarrassing him publicly.
When the politician found out Lincoln was behind them, he was furious and challenged Lincoln to a deadly fight with weapons. Fortunately, the battle was cancelled.
But this taught him the lesson he needed to learn.
š Action Step
Before giving an angry response, pause and calm down first. Then ask yourself with a clear mind: Will this help or just hurt?
Choose wisdom over impulse, just like Lincoln did.
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